{"id":1513,"date":"2016-09-29T23:43:39","date_gmt":"2016-09-30T04:43:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/?p=1513"},"modified":"2016-09-29T23:43:39","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T04:43:39","slug":"a-squirrel-tried-to-kill-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/?p=1513","title":{"rendered":"A Squirrel Tried to Kill Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been biking to work<\/a> for a couple months now, and it’s been going great. No major issues, and it’s actually quite relaxing… mostly. Today was an exception. Today I met a squirrel that I shall call Bernaldus (yes, it’s technically a name). Anyway, Bernaldus had a very bad attitude for some reason. I was just biking along, content in my peddling, enjoying the air, and generally just minding my own business. I came to a halt at a yield sign where the trail crosses a road. There was a car that didn’t have any stop or yield sign, so I came to a stop to let them have right of way, as per Seattle Ord 108200<\/a>. Several other bikers just went flying past. I glared at them, smug in my obedience of the law…<\/p>\n

The car proceeded on and I got going back up to my normal cadence and was once again enjoying the fresh air. Then WHAM! Out of nowhere Bernaldus comes scurrying out from under a bush and tries to bite my front wheel! I think I heard him swearing too. He was very cross indeed. Fortunately my bike and I outweigh Bernaldus by a good 50 pounds, so he was just spun around a bit and whacked into my pedal. I looked down in the moment and saw him laying on the ground, angrily glaring at me for just a brief second before skittering off back to his evil bush.<\/p>\n

I continued on, shaken by my harrowing experience. I survived though. That counts for something. I fear Bernaldus is also well and is plotting his revenge. Tomorrow morning I will pass by his despicable home and we shall see if he wishes for further fisticuffs. I shall arm myself appropriate for such an encounter. Tomorrow, I ride with my battleaxe and crossbow. If Bernaldus wishes to tangle, I shall prove a daunting foe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been biking to work for a couple months now, and it’s been going great. No major issues, and it’s actually quite relaxing… mostly. Today was an exception. Today I met a squirrel that I shall call Bernaldus (yes, it’s technically a name). Anyway, Bernaldus had a very bad attitude for some reason. I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everyday-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1513"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1514,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1513\/revisions\/1514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.maryjoandwill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}